Zack Ran Away
“Tracee, Zack is over at my house. A man brought him to the door and said he almost ran him over with his truck. He says if it happens again he’s going to call the police!”
“AACK! Zack What? How? Outside? I’m on my way!”
Evidently, my two-year-old son knows how to work the latch - and unhook the “security bungee cord” - on the gate.
He knew exactly where he was going too. He knows this little boy down the street that he rarely gets to play with. He was deliberately headed to his house, and when the man found him Zack pointed him to that door and said “Mama” (which is also what he calls Ainsley and she was in that house).
We put a new lock on the gate and told Ainsley, our six year old, no one is to open the gate anymore. Period. And she better not climb the fence either because he’ll just learn to do that.
I went over, retrieved him, gave him a 15 minute time out in the crib and then grounded him from going outside for the rest of the day. I was Mean Mommy. Hopefully he’ll remember how furious Mommy gets when he leaves the house without permission.
Everyone kept telling me, “He didn’t know.” I don’t believe that for a second. I know he knew what he was doing. He really thinks it’s unbelievably unfair that Ainsley gets to go over to that house with her friend. He always tries to follow her over there and throws massive fits when I tell him he has to stay here. I wonder how long he’s been hatching his plan?
The next day, I figured if Zack wanted to be friends with that boy badly enough to run away then I better make a playdate with him.
I’ll be going to get him this morning for an hour and then I’ll drop Zack off to play over there for an hour.
Come back tomorrow to find out how I handled the guy who threatened to call the police.
Image Source: Empowering Girls: So Sioux Me
Tags: baby runaways, blog fabulous, child neglect, empowering families, empowering girl, lost baby, neighborhoods, parenting toddlers, so sioux me, tracee siouxRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Fabulous Coffee Break, Fabulous Health, Fabulous Mothering, Fabulous Susie Homemaker
22 opinions for Zack Ran Away
Resurrecting 1970s Neighborhoods
May 23, 2008 at 7:27 am
[…] I told you how Zack Ran Away to visit his friend down the […]
Violet
May 23, 2008 at 8:14 am
I found our two-year-old neighbor playing in the street last year as cars barely missed him. His mother had no idea that he was gone. Kids are imps!
Ashley S.
May 23, 2008 at 8:23 am
How SCARY!
Tracee Sioux
May 23, 2008 at 8:37 am
I had no idea Zack was gone. I thought he was still in our “impenetrable fortress” of a fenced in back yard.”
Did you threaten to call the police Violet?
Tracee Sioux
May 23, 2008 at 8:39 am
Here’s how that play date went - I went over and got Zack’s friend and brought him to our house. He was fine until I closed the door - then
“I Want My Mommy - Boo Hoo.”
I took them back and said, “Maybe the boys could play here this time, he doesn’t seem ready for a playdate at our house. We’ll work our way up to that.”
Violet
May 23, 2008 at 8:48 am
I considered it because I didn’t know whose kid it was at first, but then I recognized the dog that was with him. (It was kind of sweet that the dog was sticking with him on this adventure!)
If it was part of some pattern of neglect, maybe I would have, but they are a nice family and it seemed like just a quirk. Kids are wily, it could happen to anyone.
Karen @ Little Fun
May 23, 2008 at 10:10 am
Wow! I’m glad he’s safe. My little 4 year old was over at the neighbor’s house yesterday (2 houses down) instead of in our backyard. I asked her about it and she lied and said her dad said she could go over there. She’s grounded from their house for a few days. I was so upset with her!
crystal
May 23, 2008 at 1:45 pm
I’m guessing he wasn’t at the child molester’s house?
Ashley S.
May 23, 2008 at 2:00 pm
I’ve wondered what y’all decided to do about that.
Tracee Sioux
May 23, 2008 at 2:42 pm
No Crystal, but Ainsley was crying afterwards saying, “What if that bad man next door had taken him?!”
I tried to explain that guy touched girls he doesn’t take them. . . I hope. I pray.
We’ve talked to the kids and established boundaries like we don’t play in their house and we don’t make friends with them and we don’t play in their yard. But we’ve taken no other action about the sex offender next door. The impression I get is that he was just a kid when he did something horrible. I have to say, I’m oddly unworried about him. It’s almost calming - now I know where the danger is and I can identify it to them so they know to avoid it.
may
Jun 4, 2008 at 5:05 am
I think that is why parents are suppose to be OUTSIDE when their precious little ones are out there and not leave the responsibility to siblings who are not much older. It is not worth the risk.
that girl
Jun 4, 2008 at 6:17 am
I don’t think he was supposed to be outside at all. Everyone who wants to get uppity about this needs to stop because I’ve heard lots and lots of stories of children finding their way out of the house (the locked house) and wandering the neighborhood. Parent Karma will bite you in the ass if you get too judgy-judgy about this kind of thing.
Tracee Sioux
Jun 4, 2008 at 6:47 am
Thanks for stopping by to Motherjudge me May. I don’t know what mothers would do without that.
I put on a better lock and let him play in my fortress of a safe fenced-in backyard and check on him every 10 minutes or so.
I have other things to do - write, laundry, cook, clean, work - and I don’t want to keep him locked in the house watching TV all day long.
I also do use my 6 year old as a babysitter. She’s quite competent and can come get me if something happens.
My children are highly competent at playing by themselves and don’t need me to hover over them all day and night.
They climb the swingset. Jump on a trampoline (without a net), play in water, dig in dirt, invent games, play tag, swing, climb some more.
Unsupervised play is good for them. It develops competence and imagination.
I think it IS worth the risk.
Merry
Jun 4, 2008 at 9:11 am
Hey Tracee - jumped over here from the melasma forum. When my son was around 3 we let him and the dog play in the backyard by themselves. We had lots of windows and had padlocked the gate. One day I was cooking dinner and got a knock on the door. There was my son and our dog across the street at the neighbor’s house. My husband had mowed the lawn and forgot to put the padlock on. Anyways, we were new to the neighborhood and didn’t really know the people. The neighbor’s grandmother was over and looked at me like I was dirt, said she couldn’t believe it blah blah blah. We put the lock back on and let him play. Kids are smart, he could have easily just walked out the front door. Seven years later he is doing great. I totally agree with you on letting kids learn to entertain themselves, we cannot be their human entertainment systems, and they have to learn right from wrong because you just can’t watch them 24/7.
We have 2 sex offenders in our neighborhood who are teenagers. I was floored. I have always warned my kids about men, NOT other kids. Like you I am glad I found out, so my kids know that when they see those 2 boys (unfortunately sometimes they come near our house to fish) they are to come home, run the other way, or whatever it takes to get the heck away from them. I told my kids exactly why they needed to stay away from them. It sucks that they have to lose some of their innocence, but I feel knowledge gives them a weapon. You sound like a good mom! Now if only my son would spend more time in the back yard and less on the x-box….
Tracee Sioux
Jun 4, 2008 at 9:56 am
Thanks Merry - remember when parents used to say, “Turn off the TV - Go Outside and Play!”
I try to say that as much as possible. Right after “clean your room!”
that girl
Jun 4, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Went back and re-read the post, I was wrong - he was outside in the backyard..but I still think it could happen wether he’s in or out..
Ashley S.
Jun 4, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Memorial day weekend, my five yr old son did a backwards free fall off of our porch railing into our rock filled flowerbed..this resulted in one EXPENSIVE trip to the ER and 3 staples in the back of his head..I was literally 4 feet away when it happened. I watched it happen, and could do nothing to stop it. Would you be furrowing your eyebrows at me if I had been in the house? if I had NOT helplessly watched it happen? What’s the difference?
As much as we (mothers ) want to think we can protect them with our watchful eye - it’s impossible. Crap happens.
Tracee Sioux
Jun 4, 2008 at 1:58 pm
I agree Ashley.
There’s a hovermom in my mommy group and she is literally up that baby’s butt every second at the playground.
I notice her kid has just as many bruises as mine but about 1,000 times less fun. My kid feels more confident in his ability to traverse a playground because I’m not constantly behind him telling “NO, you’ll hurt yourself. Don’t Try! You can’t do it!”
Really, what kind of message is that to send to kids?
may
Jun 6, 2008 at 10:38 am
Im glad you think it is worth the risk especially with a sex offender in the neigborhood.
My kids are NOT..they mean too much to me. I just dont understand how parents can let their LITTLE ones out by themselves. ALL parents have things to do but kids safety shoud be first. I do not mean hovering either but a 6 year old is NOT old enough to babaysit..as the point was proved. To me it is not fair to the 6 year old either.
may
Jun 6, 2008 at 10:39 am
Yes, I had a million typos.
that girl
Jun 6, 2008 at 11:25 am
May, motherhood (to me) is this bittersweet mixture of nurturing and protection, as well as encouragement to develop an identity and independence.
Of course, ANY mother who isn’t smoking crack on the streets feels her children are worth protection! Your tone suggests an assumption that mothers who believe in nudging the baby bird don’t care. Even if you don’t agree with the methods of other mothers, you could try and cut the condescension.. I’m afraid it’s making it difficult for you to see her intentions.
Tracee Sioux
Jun 6, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Hover On May. To each their own.
Have an opinion? Leave a comment: