Blog Fabulous

Workplace Words of Wisdom

by Christine(Yuna) on March 1st, 2006

Obviously it’s a joke, but there is wisdom to it… Read on!

By Matt Silverman

• If you can’t get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.
• A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
• Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted. ( I really like this one)
• After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before. (Tax or the wife ate it?)
• The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get. (yep! happened to me all the the time!)
• When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
• If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
• There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.
• Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
• Everything can be filed under “MISC”
• If you are good, you will be assigned more than your fair share of the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it. (Love this one. So learn to protect yourself while being the best and the most brilliant on the job.)
• You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.
• People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn’t.
• If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would ever get done. (Don’t you hate that!)
• When you don’t know what to do, walk fast, look “concerned”, and carry a legal pad.
• No matter how much you do, it is never enough! (Oh yeah baby, learned that!!)
• The most recent person in the organization to quit or be fired will be held responsbile for everything that goes wrong.
• Following the rules will never get the job done.
• Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.

Share This

Related Stories

A Different Perspective.
Respecting Your Colleagues
Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom
What You Should Know About Menopause
What I Really Didn’t Mean To Say.

POSTED IN: Fabulous Coffee Break