Where’s My Freaking Complaint-Free Bracelet?
Dear Christs Church Unity,
I am writing to ask where my A Complaint-Free World Bracelet is. I ordered it quite a long time ago - surely you aren’t going to blame this one on the post office. What did you expect when you went on Oprah and asked everyone to email you for a free bracelet? Obviously, you should have had about a billion bracelets already made - everyone loves free stuff. I’d like to speak to someone about the terrible customer service around here. What kind of operation are you guys running over there in Kansas City? Jeez.
Sincerely, Tracee
p.s. I did make the suggested donation of $10 and would really like a refund if you’re not going to send my bracelet immediately.
Okay, before anyone gets themselves in a tizzy over my sense of humor - I AM TOTALLY KIDDING.
Apparently, the modest-size church has gotten over 6 million requests for the A Complaint-Free World purple bracelets that were featured on Oprah on March 27th. I know this because I did order a few, and I was wondering whether my order got lost or misplaced. But, I am aware that calling to complain would have been antithetical to the entire idea of a complaint-free world bracelet. They sent me an email this week informing me that my bracelet is probably in the mail and to be more patient. By the statement, It’s not like we’re Amazon.com, I’m guessing more than one or two people called to complain.
Here’s the concept: Place bracelet on right wrist, if you complain move the bracelet to the left wrist, then back again when you catch yourself complaining again. The goal is to wear it on the SAME wrist - no complaining - for 21 days. 21 days is supposedly how long it takes to break a habit.
I’m kind of a complainer and so is my kid. I thought we’d try to break the habit and see if we could attempt happy. If you accomplish the 21 days they will send you a Certificate of Happiness.
While waiting since March for my bracelet I’ve given the role complaining has in my life some thought. The bottom-line is that I’m not sure I can give it up. I think perhaps I get too much out of it. Laughs for one thing. I like to make people laugh and I’m such a brilliant complainer that people give me positive reinforcement for it. I’m not sure I can be all that funny if I’m just all happy all the time. Would it be worth it? I dunno. I’ll try it and let you know about my progress.
Since the bracelets got such a terrific response they are actually proposing legislation to make the Wednesday before Thanksgiving “Complaint-Free Wednesday.” I definitely think I could give up complaining for the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. So, I think I’ll write my congress-persons in favor of that. If the Friday after Thanksgiving is dedicated to wanton consumerism why shouldn’t the Wednsday before be dedicated to quit your bitching?
For a bracelet email AComplaintFreeWorld@gmail.com. There is even A Complaint Free World Song you can download, sung by Stefana Dadas and the headline on her website says Women Saving the World. Dig that.
By the way, if you like the concept, as I do, you could consider donating a little cashola to the cause. Evidently this moderately-sized church is out half-a-million dollars. That’s $500,000 bucks. They are creating a separate non-profit corporation just to handle their complaint-free bracelet business.
Do you think God gave them such overwhelming success to see if they were true to not complaining? I mean, imagine being the associate pastor in charge of filling 6 million unexpected orders. Or the lady in charge of answering the phones while 6 million people want to know where their bracelets are. Pitch in by donating to their PayPal account through this link. (I hope that works, if not let me know. Without complaining, of course.)
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POSTED IN: Fabulous Culture, Fabulous Spiritual Moment
15 opinions for Where’s My Freaking Complaint-Free Bracelet?
Gayla McCord
Jul 14, 2007 at 11:34 am
I saw that episode and thought I’d TRY to go without complaining for as long as I could. Then I realized that sometimes, it’s my bitching that makes me so endearing to my family and rather than deprive them of one of my better qualities, I’d wait until I’m gone through menopause and all the kids have moved out before I try this one again :)
Stacks
Jul 14, 2007 at 12:16 pm
It is a great reliever to vent about things a bit, and I do think it is a hell of a lot healthier for me to express that side of my emotions instead of burying it. It’s called denial! No thanks.
But I also get the core message about trying to find reasons to be grateful and happy in our lives, and about taking the focus off what you don’t like and putting it back on what you do. I guess for me, it’s about balance.
Cheri Tracy
Jul 15, 2007 at 12:48 pm
Tracee: I know what you mean, I ordered a bracelet too. I haven’t received mine yet either, but my donation was processed. Following in my late mother-in-law’s foot steps, I’m trying to write down 5 things I’m grateful for each day. I’m finding when we stop for a minute to smell the roses, it’s much easier to deal with all the manure that comes along with life. Don’t sweat the small stuff! -Enjoy the day :)
Karen Lynch
Jul 17, 2007 at 9:15 pm
I never saw the bracelet on Oprah! (of course, I’m pretty selective on which Oprah shows I watch!)
this is hilarious! Apparently a whole lot of people are learning how to “not complain!”
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Aug 3, 2007 at 5:29 am
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Nneka
Aug 3, 2007 at 8:09 am
I’m with you on the not-complaining. My minister wants to get it for our church. I think not-complaining is repressive and it’s like saying that you’re against war.
I’d prefer a gratitude bracelet.
There, that’s my complaint :-)
In Spirit,
Nneka
Aimee Bx NY
Aug 14, 2007 at 4:03 pm
I ordered the bracelets too and up to date have yet to receive them. I am trying my best not to show my best side:) They are making me look bad I ordered them to give out on our Health Awarness Fair/Block Party in the Harlem community. Now I have no bracelets and I ordered them the day after they appeared on Oprah.
Tracee
Aug 15, 2007 at 5:46 am
I got mine. Still complaining though. Maybe you could reorder.
Tracee
Judy M.
Aug 22, 2007 at 2:05 pm
These blogs are hilarious. The girl that gave the web site to me was very serious about them and gave one to everyone in her family (5) - although one of her sons tossed his in a drawer. I think I should send her this page, I know it will make her laugh. I like the idea of the grateful bracelet.
Tracee
Aug 22, 2007 at 4:01 pm
I’m still wearing my bracelet. My kid abandoned hers. But, I have to say I feel, if it’s possible, compelled to bitch even more. I gave up on switching them from wrist to wrist. I still bitch and moan so much that it seems absurd to move it 1,000 times a day.
Tracee
Genie
Aug 27, 2007 at 4:52 pm
I agree with Nneka I would rather have a gratitude bracelet. One that would slip on and off easy, because I would want to be able to switch arms many times a day. I really do better when I work “for” something rather than “against” something.
Dave
Sep 8, 2007 at 5:39 pm
I love what your doing for sure, but .. I ordered several bracelets in late March and donated $ 50.00 American to your cause .. it is know getting near mid September and I have nothing .. thats 5 and a half months .. why don’t you hire people with all the money you are receiving to fill the orders ? Thank You for any response or update you could give me ..
Janice Bell
Oct 18, 2007 at 5:18 pm
Please e-mail me and let me know the status of my order. Thank U
amy
Oct 19, 2007 at 6:25 pm
hey Ya’ll bitches!! was up??
Ninni
Nov 5, 2007 at 12:27 pm
Hi, I orded my bracelet for about.. 3 maybe 4 moths ago, and I still can’t find it in my mailbox..? why is that? when will it come? Ninni
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