The Go Getters Getting Stuck In the Dating Game
The concept of being a go getter is not foreign to a lot of professional women. If we want something or get something done, we get ourselves out there, work hard and get it done. In most cases, the proactive approach works like a charm except this one – The Dating Scene. When it comes to attracting a guy, the “go getter” attitude seems to always end up in disaster.
I was eating sushi with a good friend of mine in San Francisco tonight. He started to mention how men love aggressive women.
I was like, “Yeah, whatever.. if we come out too strong and announce we are so available to date you, you guys all flee the scene without a trace…”
“Oh, I meant, aggressive in bed…” My friend explained.
“Ahh, that’s more like it… So why does a guy run away when a girl doesn’t want to play games and just flat out tells him that she wants him??”
It’s a legitimate question. When a girl plays hard to get, the guy falls head over heels for her. But when a nice honest girl lays it all out there, he freaks out and runs away.
“Well…” my friend tried to explain, “We have different concept when it comes to dating. You girls want to know where the relationship is heading to and whether the guy has potential to become a keeper. But we just want to have fun. If it happens, it happens. If you are so available to us and hang out with us all the time, it’s going to get boring. If you are always around, then we are going to feel suffocated.”
“So, we still gotta play games? That’s bullshit!”
“Yes, you can’t totally ignore him, but you can’t make yourself 100% available to him either. There is no thrill in that kind of relationship especially in its early stage. Play a little, give him a little, pull back a little…”
So, basically I learned that in order to get a guy to stick around, we gotta ”
- A. Let him chase us
- B. Can’t make him as our center of the Universe
- C. Occasionally play hard to get game
- D. And never make ourselves 100% available to him
Ok! Alright! That’s it! I am throwing my hands in the air! As much as I hate to admit it, it is true that if a girl starts to chase a guy around, there will rarely be a happy ending. I actually wrote a pretty amusing story about a “Go-Getter” female investment banker chasing my good friend Andy and how it ended up in disaster. It’s an extreme case, but it’s a 100% true story. If you are interested, here is the link.
So, it’s pathetic to chase a guy around. And it’s ALSO pathetic to wait for the phone to ring. So what the heck should we do?
You know, life is too fabulous to waste time on those guys who are not into us. If he doesn’t call and he doesn’t want to hang out, then let him go. So, I think we should all go out, get some fresh air, have fun with our friends, meet new people through activities and group events, find new hobbies, beautify our lives and get some spa treatments. When we are feeling fabulous, energetic, happy and healthy, there will be guys who are going to fall head over heels for us. After all, people are drawn to the positive happy people.
So screw the phone and screw his phone number! Now, it’s time to head over to that hiking trail to hug the beautiful trees and breathe that fresh air!
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POSTED IN: Fabulous Mars & Venus
1 opinion for The Go Getters Getting Stuck In the Dating Game
Hsien Lei
Dec 9, 2005 at 6:13 am
I don’t think I can be bothered to chase a guy. Got too many other things I’d rather be doing. But maybe that’s because I’ve been married too long. LOL
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