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The Best Way To Avoid Self-Sabotage

by Kim on January 21st, 2007

As I reviewed my e-mails yesterday, there in front of me, like a marquee in Times Square, blared the sentence that I have dreaded, since I launched The Pet Set, two years ago, this month.

My customer’s note read: “We are not doing well with the cards I chose at all. Any suggestions? I literally have not sold a single item from you yet.”

Oh my god!…instant emotional downward spiral.

I am mortified to share this story with you, but I want to give you some advice on how to handle such a situation — which, clearly we experience on some level everyday: some drastic — like this one, and some not so drastic — like the landscaper mowed over your flower bed.

Your mother was right to tell you — Tomorrow will be a better day.

The temptation, after seeing the note, was to call the client or send an emotional note to the tune of: “…do you even know what you’re doing?” (Actually, I couldn’t have called her, I would have ended up sobbing into the phone.)

Instead — I waited. I waited until after the crying, after the self-persecution (I’m an idiot, my business is going down the toilet, I’ll end up working at Burger King) and after the embarrassment of it all — which truthfully — was probably the root cause of my melt down.

Do you see why I needed to wait?…my thought process was so silly…I know my stationery sells…it have sold!

Giving myself a chance to review every scenario I could about why my cards were not selling at this particular customer’s shop — I sat down and wrote her a note, extending my empathy and offering her some merchandising advice.

Why was this pause a good strategy? Because if I had shot off a nasty or critical message from the start, I would have risked losing a customer and, worse, harmed my and my business reputation.

I am still at risk of losing her, but at least I know I did not let my emotions sabotage me.

So, if it’s your boss or mate or kid or whatever…sleep on it, or at least wait for a half hour.

Oh and watching reruns of Sex and the City helps too.

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