Smell That?
The other day in a matter of minutes myself and my two kids were overcome with congestion. We were fine, and then all three of us weren’t. There was something in the air that we just didn’t respond well to.
In the same way I’ve noticed there is something in the air breeding discontent. By discontent, I mean dissatisfaction with the present situation. Nearly everyone I know is, all the sudden, dissatisfied.
You just can’t stand your living situations, homes, clothes, cars, budgets, hair style, etc. And it feels like an emergency. Like you can’t take the present situation one more freaking second.
You want a new van, a new car, a new house, new jeans, new shoes, new clothes, new hairstyle, new wardrobe, new couch. And you feel like you must do anything to get it. Get your parents to co-sign on the loan, hock your wedding ring, take a terrible interest rate, exceed your budget, get two more jobs, violate your principles and throw out your hard-won financial education and go into debt.
I understand completely - I feel it to. I’m calling mortgage brokers and real estate agents and contemplating brunette or red hair. I bought a new pair of jeans and some red pumps. My husband is scouring classifieds for a car. My daughter informed me today that she needs new clothes and shoes. I’m sure the baby is secretly pining for the must-have baby toy.
I propose that it’s really not that intangible - it’s marketing. The change of seasons seem to trigger some kind of emotional response to marketing even small children can’t help responding to. More likely marketing efforts are greatly increased to sell school clothes and last year’s car and we find it difficult to resist. It’s difficult to maintain contentment in the face of so much marketing insisting we should updating everything immediately.
Remember last September? You felt just like this. Next September, expect it again. When Christmas rolls around, you know what to expect. Brace yourself now and save up some dough.
Repeat after me: I am not a consumer. I am a person. I have what I need and can exercise patience and good judgement about my money. It may be time for a new-er car, but I deserve for it to be burden free. It’s time to move, but I deserve to not overextend my family to get it. I want new clothes, but I need to respect my self and not destroy my budget over it. My couch will do until I save for another one.
Now take a deep breath.
Perhaps you should satiate this monster of discontent by hitting a discount store, garage sale, thrift store or clearance rack. Knowing I have some buying power often makes me feel better. Cash only under $20 spending can be absorbed into the budget. It might quiet all those voices saying you don’t have enough. It also might give you time to think about that big purchase and how prepared you are to make it. The time to think often saves us from paying lots of stupid tax.
Remember: I am a person not a consumer.
Tags: BlogFabulous, dave-ramsey, empowering women, empowering-girls, new-car, new-home, personal-finance, so sioux me, suze-orman, tracee sioux, women-and-moneyRelated Stories
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5 opinions for Smell That?
Jen
Aug 23, 2007 at 11:10 am
Ahhhaha! It’s like you are speaking to me personally. (And I know you are.) LOL!
Just so you know, I have gotten it out of my system. Really. I have reminded myself that I like having money.
What spurred my discontent was that school, and scouting are starting back up, and I am seeing all these other super thin, dressed to the tee, moms rolling up in their yukons with perfectly groomed children dressed head to toe in ralph lauren. I allowed myself to feel inadequate in so many ways…my car isn’t good enough, I should have gone to the gym more over the summer, my kids have shaggy hair, and garage sale clothes, blah, blah, blah.
The fact is my van isn’t horrible, my kids still look clean and hip in their inexpensive clothes, I’m not a cave troll (I’m a nine, and my husband thinks I’m hot,) and if someone judges me by these things then who wants them. Not that anyone judged me. I judged myself.
Funny thing is, what makes me feel better is actually purging my house and getting rid of stuff rather than bringing more stuff we don’t really need home.
Crystal
Aug 23, 2007 at 2:10 pm
Great blog! I totally agree. Why does it bother us so much when other people seem to have more?
Tracee
Aug 23, 2007 at 3:45 pm
Yeah, at my first soccer meeting I had the same experience of feeling inadequate. I had to tell myself my hair was fine, what I was wearing was fine, the car I was driving was fine. It took deliberate telling myself that.
But, seriously Jen you are only one of three people I spoke to this week, freaking on the same impulse to consume and on the verge of making a panicked mistake.
Lots of people fall for the marketing. It’s powerful stuff. The people at scouts and school and soccer fell for the marketing, that’s all. They aren’t better, they likely aren’t richer, they are just falling for marketing.
We know better. When I was a teenager I thought “the one with the best tan wins” - now I know the one with the best tan has brown spots all over her face from sun damage. The one with the nicest car and the biggest house doesn’t win, they just have more burdens and will probably retire much less well-off than I intend to retire.
Tracee
Stacks
Aug 23, 2007 at 4:06 pm
I usually go to a thrift shop when I start feeling like that. I buy books that cost $20 in the store for like $2 each, pants and shirts for $4 each. I even scored a pot rack for $5 recently - and I had been thinking about buying a new one that was $70.
I get my shopping fix and I don’t break the bank. Plus, the money I spend goes to charitable works.
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