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Self-Righteous Anger and my Soul

by Tracee Sioux on April 15th, 2007

I’m a spiritual sort. I go to church on Sundays; I love a good spiritual retreat and am anxiously anticipating my upcoming Emmaus Walk at the end of the month.

Currently, I’m reading The Seat of the Soul, by Gary Zukav. Zukav appears to have been able to smoosh all of the philosophies and religious traditions on the planet into an evolution of a multi-sensory spirituality. If you’re offended by talk of your soul’s karma, evolution or reincarnation then this is not a good book for you. Myself, I’ve studied other religious traditions a little and karma appears to be basically the same principle as “you reap what you sow” found in Christianity. It’s also quite easy for me to think of “evolution” as growth, physically, emotionally and spiritually so I can get on board with much of what Zukav has to say.

One of the main things I’m taking away from this book is about how my soul learns and grows. Zukav says that if I intend to confront and harness an aspect of myself, such as self-righteous anger, then my soul, God, or the Universe will compassionately and intentionally place all sorts of situations in my path that are historically likely to bring self-righteous anger to my consciousness in an effort to give me practice at moving past it or choosing to respond to situations without self-righteous anger.

I’ve found this to be quite true lately and I think I’m getting better at nipping it in the bud. My husband and I recently separated and I’ve got all sorts of valid and legitimate reasons for self-righteous anger. But, I realized that the self-righteous anger wasn’t getting me anywhere. It wasn’t teaching him to treat me better, it wasn’t teaching him anything except that he can make me lose it if he wants. It wasn’t making me feel better – self-righteous anger feels lousy to tell you the truth. It feels ugly and powerless and heavy like a giant sack of rotting potatoes.

I also believe in the law of attraction, if I feel self-righteous anger, that is what I will get back from others, in other words “you reap what you sow.”

So, last week I decided to leave my self-righteous anger at church. Let God deal with it and just choose something else. Sounds crazy-easy doesn’t it? Here, God, take the anger. I don’t want it anymore because it’s not getting me what I want. Thanks, see you next week.  

I walked around all week feeling a little lighter, but I had to keep reminding myself to choose something different than self-righteous anger because, like Zukav said, valid and legitimate reasons for anger kept being presented to me, as if to prove the point – I need lots of practice.

Historically, I would get angry when the keys were locked in the car, baby sitting arrangements fell through, a friend dropped her kid off at the last minute expecting that I would have nothing else to do and then refusing to switch cars so I wouldn’t be trapped at home all day, my car broke and then broke again and then again, getting pulled over twice by police for no particular reason, getting incorrect medical bills in the mail, getting over-charged at the pharmacy and a sneaky charge on my satellite bill, getting sick on the one day when I don’t have the kids, waiting in line to get my car licensed only to find out they only take checks which I don’t carry, leaving bottles and pacifiers all over town so I don’t have any at home, the baby getting two more teeth right behind the ones he just got, my hair stylist not getting my color in and then not telling me until I showed up for my appointment two weeks in a row.

I have to give myself props. Normally, I would respond to all of these situations with anger. Why is the Universe trying to get me? But, since reading Zukav’s theory I have to assume that my soul is just giving me lots of opportunities to practice choosing a response other than anger. So, at church this morning I am in the prayer room and I tell God,

I’m leaving the rest of my self-righteous anger here and I’m going to focus on feeling love and compassion toward my husband and I’m going to trust you to communicate that to him. What I truly want is a fulfilling and enriching marriage where I feel loved and validated and my self-righteous anger isn’t going to get me that.  

I’ve discovered that the more practice my soul gets at choosing something other than anger the easier it is. Really, anger is just a nasty emotional habit of mine and researchers say habits can be broken in 21 days.

What’s your nasty emotional habit? Is it serving you or costing you? If it’s not serving you, I encourage you, get rid of it.

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POSTED IN: Fabulous Spiritual Moment