Kate Gosselin, Time’s Person of the Year?
Beth, a friend of Kate Gosselin’s, star of Jon & Kate, Plus 8, posted a comment on a post I wrote, of questionable tone, called Sextuplets, My Sympathies. (I am working on the tone, as you can see in Tone Turtle.) The post got a much more extreme response than I expected. I meant no harm to Kate Gosselin, who should win Time Magazine’s Person of the Year Award, in my opinion. I felt our exchange was worth it’s own post. If only because I feel totally awesome that someone I’ve seen on TV took the time to write to me.
Tracee,
While everyone is entitled to an opinion, I must make the statement that I strongly disagree with yours. The reason? Well, you don’t have all of the background information and insights to Jon and Kate Gosselin’s family life and what they endured to parent and foster children of their own.
You may ask, “How does she have the right to inform me of their circumstances?”. Well, you see, I am a close friend of the Gosselins’ (if you don’t think this is legitimate, you can watch ‘Jon and Kate Plus 8′ and you will see me periodically). I frequently care for all eight of their beautiful children when they are unable to due to appointments, conflicts, or when they just need a weekend away (which we are all entitled to at some point, of course). Like you mentioned, Jon and Kate never asked for or anticipated six babies to be born to them at the same time. Both of them willingly admit to “freaking out” when they saw the six tiny embryos on the sonogram screen. Like I said, you have mentioned all of this information, with good reason. However, you simply have not analyzed the situation to its full and most meaningful extent. Why do you think Jon and Kate decided to keep all six of their sextuplets, rather than using “selective reduction” to limit chances of health complications, budget issues, or just plain insanity? They kept the babies because they knew that those tiny gray spots on the screen would soon grow into Aaden, Alexis, Hannah, Collin, Joel, and Leah. When questioning their readiness to have six children, you are correct in your assumption that no one, under any circumstance, is ready to take on six small children, in addition to two four year olds (as Cara and Mady were when the babies were born). I have watched this family grow and flourish and I know, without a doubt in my mind, that Kate would jump at the chance to talk to women and mothers like you who look at her life as a situation from Hell. No one, unless in Kate’s shoes, has the right to judge or criticize the life of her family. Every human being, from the moment a challenging occurrence comes into play, makes a choice as to how they will view this circumstance. Obviously, Kate Gosselin made the choice to view her circumstance as a blessing. She had adequate grace and poise to recognize the rewards that would come of this large challenge set before her. Kate is one of the most admirable and amazing women I have ever known. I respect your thoughts, opinions, and regard for Kate and her family, but request that you ponder the situation more thoroughly next time before putting these comments down on paper (or your blog) where the whole world can read them and make judgements about you, which is what every person does when stumbling onto any blogger’s site. The comments I have made are for no individuals benefit besides your own. I am advising you to “think before you speak” regarding controversial subjects such as this one. Granted, if your opinion, after sleeping on it, remains the same as you have written? Then so be it. But be aware of grateful and faithful mothers like Kate that would “never trade it for the world” (as she and Jon say all the time). Don’t you think that, if they were miserable like you have imagined any mother of multiples to be, they would want another lifestyle? As I said, you are legitimate and accurate in every sense of the word when discussing Jon and Kate’s reactions to the news of sextuplets. However, you lack a sincere attitude of maturity and thought when analyzing their family.
It disappoints me that so many individuals view Kate’s position as one from Hell. I guess I’m the stupid one for having thought more of our society and the mothers in this country.
Regards,
Beth
P.S. Tracee, if you desire an explanation of why and how I stumbled upon your blog, please email me and I would love to enlighten you.
Beth -
I’m 100% Pro-Kate Gosselin. Period. She’s a modern-day hero. I even nominated her for mother of the year on my other blog in my article Roloffs & Gosselins.
That I wouldn’t want to trade places with her only speaks to the fact that I could never in a million years pull off what she does. In fact, I imagine I would find myself screaming unbathed or huddled in the fetal position on any given day had I been blessed with sextuplets, or even twins. Which, I’m sure is why God did not give me that blessing.
You mistake criticism for my own self as criticism of Kate.
By the way, I was astonished at the profound love you showed the Gosselins when you did babysit all those kids at once. I thought you were probably the most true friend anyone might ever have.
Tracee,
Thank you for your response. I know (and have seen) how much Kate appreciates and cherishes support from fellow mothers. As I’m sure you have seen on the show, it takes an amazing woman for a job like hers. And, like you said, Kate was best equipped for it. Not with money, time, space, or convenience, of course–but with faith, patience, kindness, strength, gratefulness, and devotion. And that’s what makes an incredible mother, right??! :)
I also wanted to thank you for your kind comments regarding my relationship with the Gosselins. Watching eight children for days on end may seem like a burden, but it is truly a blessing, pleasure, and privilege to be involved in the lives of the Gosselin kids. As you can imagine, being around six three year olds and two six year olds allows you to feel (and act!) much younger. Regardless of the work and planning involved, it never fails that my family and I have a total blast.
I hope you continue to watch the show as we all learn more about why Kate should win the Mother of the Year award (I’m totally with you on that one!). I am grateful for the many things I have learned and heard from the Gosselins, and know they have so much more to share.
Blessings,
Beth
I’ve got Jon and Kate, plus 8 programed on my DVR. Kate’s makes me appreciate how great I’ve got it. I even cried when Kate got Dr. 90210 to give her a free tummy tuck to take care of what she called her “Jowls of the Dog” after a sextuplet pregnancy. Never has anyone deserved their own television show or free plastic surgery like Kate Gosselin.
Beth, I did try to email you about how you stumbled on my blog - but my email got returned. I am curious though.
Tags: blog fabulous, empowering women, empowering-girls, jon-and-kate-plus-8, Kate-Gosselin, sextuplets, so sioux me, tracee siouxRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Fabulous Culture, Fabulous Mothering, Fabulous Susie Homemaker
November 14th, 2007 at 5:11 pm
Oh my goodness! I went back and read the orginal article and then the comments. OUCH. It seems you’ve found a highly volatile subject.
I’ve been watching the show lately since you metioned that you like it. It’s pretty entertaining. Now, what if you get an email from a “friend” of Bruce Jenner’s. LOL.
November 14th, 2007 at 5:32 pm
Wouldn’t that be awful?
I guess I don’t want mail from ALL famous people.
November 14th, 2007 at 5:41 pm
I love J&K+8.
November 19th, 2007 at 3:42 pm
You want to nominate Kate for mother of the year? Please watch the show before you throw crazy ideas like that around.
That woman is a greedy, mean person. She hits her husband, treats him like dirt and expects everyoen to bow down before her.
She also seems to expect the world to catre to her because SHE CHOSE to give birth to 6 kids at once.
November 20th, 2007 at 8:26 am
Says someone who probably doesn’t have 8 children - certainly not 6 at the same time.
She didn’t choose to get pregnant with 6 children at once. She chose to get pregnant with fertility treatments - as opposed to having no babies at all. Then she chose to give birth to the ones God gave her.
Have you been inflicted with perfection or something?
November 20th, 2007 at 11:34 am
No, as a mother of 4. One that didnt expect the world to help me take care of them financially.
One who would never, when given a free tummy tuck, would then sak for a free boob job.
My kids never hit each other, bit each other or pulled each others hair. Her daughter Mady(or whatever wrong way she spells her name) is neglected and Kate acts as if she hates her. She treats her husband as if he is a servant.
If money is so tight for them, instead of expecting handout after handout, why doesnt she out that nursing degree to good use and work a couple of shifts per week when Jon is home? Why? Because it is easier to play the martyr and expect things to be handed to you.
November 20th, 2007 at 11:39 am
And it doesnt take perfection to treat people well, especially her husband that puts up with way too much of her crap.
My husband, who watched one episode with me, said that he should write to Jon and inform him that not all women treat their husbands like dirt.
November 20th, 2007 at 11:54 am
It must be hard being a perfect person.
Certainly, I’m not aflicted with that. Which makes Kate all the more endearing to me.
November 20th, 2007 at 7:12 pm
I LOVE watching Jon & Kate Plus 8!!! Can’t wait for the book to come out :)
November 20th, 2007 at 7:58 pm
to jessica -
well, it certainly is easier to judge people when you’re behind a screen and not actually experiencing that which you are criticizing.
and if you think she’s so terrible, why bother watching? i’ll never understand people who are so negative and ride high above the rest of us on those big horses.
get over yourself.
November 21st, 2007 at 8:28 am
Jessica,
I admit I am wrankled by your comments. Not because I would do everything exactly like Kate but because your comments against Kate speak of two assumptions:
1) that you could be a better mother to twins and sextuplets than she could.
2) that you could be a better wife to Jon than she could.
I just do not share your assumptions. I assume that Kate is doing the best she can and I think her best is probably better than mine on most days. Her house is definately cleaner.
I also think it’s interesting that you take such exception to Kate’s tone. Jon is not without tone and snaps at her just as much as she snaps at him. Didn’t you hear him snap “You act like you never had 8 kids before!” in the parking lot of the bed store? Or how bout one of his favorites, “I already told you 17 freakin times!”
They have 6 freaking toddlers. Couples snap! (Except obviously you’re immune to snapping at your husband.)
I can relate to their short tempers, their imperfect ways that they relate to each other under extreme stress.
Did you know that of the 50% of marriages that fail in this country, most of them fail in the first 5 years and during an extremely stressful event like the birth of A baby. They had 6 babies at once. That’s extremely stressful and statistically - the majority of couples wouldn’t have made it this far.
Kate deserves some slack. And remember Jon is choosing to be there and is not defenseless. He chose Kate. She’s the perfect wife for him. Maybe she’s not the perfect wife for your sensitive husband, but I think she’s the perfect wife for the husband she has.
November 21st, 2007 at 10:38 am
Have you watched any of the other “multiples” programs? There are a couple of them that do a far better job of being a mother and a decent human being than Kate.
Clean house? Having a clean house does not make you a good mother. Personally, I think that she should soend some of that time that she spends on her hands and knees scrubbing floors on her hands and knees playing with her kids. Locking them up in a gate is not parenting. They are not puppies.
And taking them on these silly trips that they will never remember is retatrded. mainly because she ruins them with her petulant whining and complaining. But I guess when someone else is footing the bill, why not?
I am slowly being convinced that you are Kate herself. No one can defend that woman this much and I have read quite a few forums concerning her. Dont kid yourself, she is pretty much universally hated.
November 21st, 2007 at 1:35 pm
I would love to see how YOUR life translates on television.
Perfection, I’m sure.
You’ve heard about the glass houses?
Well, hate her if you want. Whatever you’re getting out of such judgement.
I choose to like her, admire her, feel empathy and compassion for her situation - but, whatever.
November 21st, 2007 at 3:02 pm
What is your hangup with perfection? we are talking about just sheer niceness…..being a good human being.
It does not take a perfect wife to not hit and/or berate your husband.
November 21st, 2007 at 3:04 pm
I also wonder that if she treats him and her children like this when the cameras are rolling, just imagine what it is like when TLC is not there.
November 22nd, 2007 at 10:42 am
There are parents who are truly bad ones - have you seen Parents Behaving Badly? http://www.parentsbehavingbadly.com/
Kate is more like the woman who had so many children she didn’t know what to do.
I yell at my kids and speak rudely to my husband sometimes. So I relate to Kate.
If television caught me going to the nursing home to visit the elderly and taking my grandmother to the dr. and grocery store I’d come off as a great human being. . .
But, if they caught me yelling at my kids or husband . . .
Well, it would look totally different on TV.
Both exist in my reality.
November 22nd, 2007 at 11:19 am
As a mother grandma and lover of children and people observer, I am in love with the Gosselins…This Jessica dame has serious issues …to exhibit such hate and criticism. Usually behavior like that means she is dealing with a lot of self doubt..Kate and Jon are REAL and clearly identify the fact that life is not perfect, just a journey we strive to do our best in…The results are in the wonderful children they have …PERFECT no ,but caring, kind, smart , beautiful and most of all loving. I feel such pain for the children of the Jessica woman, mom lives in an imaginery world, so when they become fully human which is to be imperfect …mom can’t deal cause she has her all her fantasies tied up in the child’s perfection We should be praying for that woman and her children…cause Kate and Jon and their kids will be just fine, and real and able to cope with the real world God bless this wonderful family
November 23rd, 2007 at 5:46 am
She needs to get those kids into preschool.. they need socialization with kids other than their siblings and adults other than their mom and her friends. She needs to go back into the work world and not be stuck in the house all day. I think it is making her a bitter person and she is probably jealous that her husband is out of the crazy house all day… That show is the best birth control for me.
November 23rd, 2007 at 6:11 am
Preschool for 6 kids - Montessori, let’s see . . .$400 X 6 = $2,400. Not very cost effective.
November 23rd, 2007 at 10:05 am
well.. she IS a nurse.. and could get out of the house and work a little to support it. I think it would be better for the sanity of ALL of them AND for their marriage if they all got a break from the craziness.. and it would benefit the kids to socialize with other kids… (maybe the THREE year olds would actually get potty trained, too)… Again.. that show is GREAT birth control.
November 23rd, 2007 at 4:47 pm
My sis-in-law had a FIVE year old that wasn’t potty trained. Lots of people train their kids when they are already 3.
She used to work. I don’t know if you saw the first specials, but she tried to keep working a double shift on Sat.
I think sextuplets is just chaos no matter how you do it, work or don’t work, preschool or not. There is no way around it. There is going to be high stress.
November 23rd, 2007 at 10:43 pm
I am mezmerized with the show. As a mom and teacher, I think Kate is doing a wonderful job teaching and loving her children. I even discuss the show with students who watch the show. It saddens me that so many people are so cruel with their comments. Actually, this is the first blog I have ever visited. I hope that Kate and Jon never read these cruel words. With so many ridiculous and inappropriate shows on TV, I find this family is a blessing! All eight of the children are absolutely beautiful! Thank you, Jon and Kate, for sharing your life with your countless fans!
November 24th, 2007 at 7:38 am
here! here!
November 24th, 2007 at 5:51 pm
I don’t mean to be cruel, and I apologize if I came across that way. I just think for the good of the kids and Jon and Kate’s marriage the kids belong in preschool and Kate should try to work a few hours a week to be with some adults… I know that no matter what, it will be chaotic and I give them a lot of credit. I personally could never do the fertility thing and have accepted the fact I am never going to be a mother (I am 35 now and unmarried and would never dream of STARTING a family this late in life)… so again, whenever I get that Mom itch, I watch one episode and it is gone. I do give them credit for all they do.. I am exhausted watching them! I hope for their happiness and success and for Jon and Kate’s happiness in their marriage.
November 24th, 2007 at 7:31 pm
Montessorri???? why??? Is normal preschool not good enough?
Besides, with the way that Kate manages to score free stuff, I am sure that she can get a discount. Plus, if Jon only makes the $50k that is reported, then Kate can finally get that state aid that she thinks she deserves.
I dont understand how a woman, who took fertility treatments, then refused to do selective reduction can honestly think that society owes her anything. She did this. Take responsibility for your actions Kate. Dont have kids if you cannot afford them.