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Chiming in on Imus discussion

by Tracee Sioux on April 17th, 2007

pink-hair-blog-flat.jpgI confess I don’t even really know who Don Imus is. I am hearing about him on TV right now because he made racial and misogynistic slurs against some black female college basketball players.

I only chime in on the conversation to say this: I’m sorry.

I’m sorry because I am related to quite a few racists. They are from The South, they feel inexplicably picked on by African Americans and Mexicans. They make racist comments all the time. About half of them are without the benefit of a higher education, but that’s not the common denominator. The most venomous of them hold post-graduate degrees. I, personally, don’t know of any personal experiences where reverse-discrimination has actually impacted their lives, but they are unreasonably furious about it. Probably because they DO know who Don Imus and/or regularly listen to bigots who confuse hatred with conservative family values.

I have defended the right stance of equality. I have been the only one in the living room pointing out the comments which are racist and declaring them WRONG. It’s an uncomfortable place to be – they get furious. They attack me as some sort of liberal. They are completely unopen to changing their perceptions of black people or the “Mexicans who are taking over America.”

I have tried to change their minds. They won’t see things differently. I can’t control them or what they think. I know this because I’ve given it my best shot. I don’t know whether they are getting a feeling of superiority out of it, because somehow they are painting themselves as the ones who are being persecuted. Don’t ask me to get into their heads and figure out how they are the persecuted ones. It doesn’t make any rational or historical sense.

What I do have the power to change is the perceptions of my own children. I frequently get in the car after a family meal and say to my kids, I don’t ever want to hear you say anything like what you heard them say about black people or Hispanic people. I will be severely disappointed in you if you discriminate against others for any reason, including the color of their skin. What they are saying is wrong. We love them, but they are wrong.

I watched Oprah yesterday and I’m dying to watch today. She gathered influential African Americans to discuss the fact that black rappers use racial slurs in their lyrics. I have to say I’m happy to hear this discussion because my own racist family uses this as license to make racial slurs themselves. I don’t have a reasonable response to why shouldn’t I be allowed to use the N word? They say it to each other all the time! While two wrongs do not make a right is usually how I respond, it would be beneficial for everyone if rappers stopped the use of racial slurs all together.

I do not listen to rap music because of the misogyny inherent in the lyrics. That’s a huge sweeping generalization, but the fact is that I am usually offended by how they refer to my femininity. I’m reminded of the Pink lyric, “What happened to the dream of a girl president? She’s dancing in the video next to 50 cent.” I try to get my mentees to understand that dancing in that video is less than the most empowering place to be. I attempt to make them understand that listening to music that refers to their own girlness as “ho” is damaging to their spirit.

I truly hope that today’s Oprah, where music industry professionals will discuss the disturbing lyrics that are so popular, will be the impetus for profound change.

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