2007 Oscars For The Viewers
Yes, yes…this Sunday is the The 79th Oscar Awards. yaaaaawwwwn. I cannot bear awards shows.
My cynicism aside, we all know that Forrest Whitaker was brilliant in The Last King of Scotland and he’d better win or I’m never watching one of these shows again.
Even though Ellen is the host…I just think the whole spectacle has not much to do with reality (hellluuu? It’s Hollyweird?).
And who can remember who won what anyway? (Rachael Weiss — The Constant Gardener?)
I thought it might be more interesting if there were an awards show that actually reflected the movie-going public.
So, here’s The Blog Fabulous list of categories:
- Actor who does NOT feel it’s appropriate to spew his or her political views during their acceptance speech…just tell us who your are wearing!
- Theater with the cleanest ladies room
- Best impression of a movie goer who can just shut UP! and not crinkle candy wrappers
- Theater with the least sticky floors
- Theater with parking for gosh sakes
- Honors for the theater with the best and most creative snacks and drinks (when are they going to allow martinis?)
- Award to Barbara Walters for NOT doing her annual, totally cringe-worthy specials
- Most offensive faux paux during acceptance speech
- Technical award for theater with acceptable sound levels and unscratched print of the film (presentation of award at McDonald’s the day after Blog Fabbies.)
- Organization that excludes British actors
- Award to actor who does not fake-fumble with the Oscar envelope
- And finally, gigantic Blog Fabbie to the actor who does not thank the Lord
And the winner is….
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