The Secret to Weighty Resolutions
The way to keep a resolution or change a habit - any resolution or habit - is to discover what belief or lies you’re telling yourself that’s keeping you in a bad habit.
Then change that thought. Change your belief
If you can change your thinking about something you can DO anything.
Yesterday, we talked about my belief that organization was a waste of time and money. Changing that belief equated to my willingness to spend the time and money on the tools to become more organized.
Two years ago I held a belief that exercise was too much effort and it was somehow a treat or a luxury to lay on the couch eating a bag of Cheetos.
Only facing a scale that said my 5′4″ self was in danger of crossing the threshold of 200 pounds was enough to make me challenge that belief.
My lifestyle habits (I smoked too) were the epitome of self-destruction not self-love. I only believed wrongly that I was acting lovingly.
I had to change my belief to “I am worth the effort of exercise and exercise is an act of self-love.”
But, I had my limits. No running and no counting calories.
And so I got down to 166 and stayed there for one year. Until Christmas and then I gained 1.8 pounds. I continued to exercise, but not religiously because I let “life” interfere with my plans and was too willing to be happy about excuses.
Look, I don’t want to be “moderately overweight.” I want to get to a “normal weight” and I want to get low enough that if I gain 5 pounds during the holidays or during an especially stressful time in my life I want to still be in the “normal weight” category.
Now, I know myself. I know that the belief that “running is too hard and counting calories is too anal retentive” is holding me back.
But, the more I learn about nutrition - the more I realize how just plain ignorant I am about what I put in my mouth.
Counting calories for one week will teach you more about what your eating habits ACTUALLY are, than pretending you are eating healthy foods and not knowing what the heck is in them.
I’ll say this without getting into self-loathing about my moderate eating habits. We’ve discovered more than 4 basic food groups comprise healthy eating, which is what they were teaching in 1978 when I was in school.
I do not have a clear idea about what measure of calories are in food. I know this because I started my New Year’s Resolutions on Christmas Day. I wanted to know I wasn’t going to fail before I committed. Besides, there is no time but NOW in which to act.
I needed a baseline from which to objectively look at my habits. So, I logged onto the time-consuming About.com Calorie Counter and started logging what foods cross my lips.
You can’t imagine my shock that one small piece of my mother’s peanut brittle is over 450 calories! Dude, I was just absentmindedly snacking on those. Knowing that made me want that brittle so much less. Who knew that a cup of basmati rice has 320 calories? Who knew coconut milk gets an F nutritionally?
In 2009 I won’t be going on a “diet.” Diets don’t work right? But, I will be getting honest about what goes in my mouth. I will count calories to educated myself about foods and to make a conscious choice about what I want to eat.
A few weeks ago I wrote about wanting to start running. I mean really running. Like fast and hard. Vigorous exercise. The moderate exercise I’ve been doing is enough to maintain weight - but, I want to lose weight. Then maintain it.
The truth about my exercise habit is that I need to do exercise at the same time every day. I changed my thinking to “I exercise.” When I was losing weight I had access to a gym with childcare and I went every morning. Well, here there is no daytime childcare. So, my habits have been random and inconsistent.
My belief was that “I can’t get up at 6 am and go running before everyone else is out of bed. It’s too hard.”
I’m changing that thought, that belief, to “thousands of moms - including me - get up before the family and go running to make sure it gets done and have time to spend effort on themselves.”
I started the running on Christmas Day. I’m tired, sore and wore out.
I love it. It’s exhilarating. It makes me feel like I can do anything I
set my mind to. I got the ipod and I’m listening to empowering soulful
books and making it my meditation time. The more productive I am the more productive I am.
Besides, my husband took up running and he’s totally lapping my weight loss and fitness level. I hate to be competitive - but, I definitely don’t want to be “the fat slow one” either. I want to run as fast as he and be able to go as far. He whipped it out in 2 months flat! He ran 9 miles full throttle yesterday.
When you break it down my weighty resolution is this: I’m going to be 135 pounds and have run a 5k by 2010. Watch me.
Wanna come?
Tags: fat, new years, resolutions, weight-loss2008 Resolution Revisited - The Truth
Last year I wrote about my resolution to get organized in a post titled Anal Retentive Compulsions in 2008.
In July I saw that people were still reading that post and took another look. Then I cleaned up and organized my office - which was still a mess - and posted the transformation in Resolutions Revisited.
If, 6 months later you realize that people are going to hold you accountable it’s a good motivation not to fail. To fail is hard on the soul - to fail in public is enough to make me clean my room and get organized like I said I wanted to in the first place.
I’m going to cultivate anal retentive organization to the point of compulsion. That way in 2009, 2010, 2011 . . . (you get the picture), I won’t ever have to think about it again.
I’ll become super-efficient in my work too. I will file numbers and emails, I’ll keep a calendar of things I want to participate in and do, I’ll make spread sheets and charts and reinforce deadlines for myself. I’ll be uber-productive and uber-effective once I’m uber-efficient and uber-organized,
I wrote.
Well, do I look anything like Kate Gosselin, mother of twins and sextuplets AND the most organized and sometimes anal and compulsive woman on reality television to you?
But, did I accomplish my goal?
Absolutely.
My house is pretty dang organized. It’s a little messy frequently because we have two kids. Hey I saw how the rest of America lives on Oprah’s Clean Up Your Messy House and I’ve got some relatives who have this hoarding gene going on. Compared to that I’m a dream housekeeper.
Every few months - around birthdays and Christmas and the change of seasons - I go through the toys and clothes and donate the ones we’ve outgrown.
Now that we’ve got a large enough house for the necessary storage our world is a billion times more organized. And I realize you have to keep working at it. You’re not going to be “organized” and then walk off and leave it for 10 years and have it stay that way.
Between Christmas and New Year’s is a great time to look at the messes and clutter piles and clean them up. By New Year’s Eve I’m going to sort through the 2008 photos and put them on a disk for storage and buy a photo book of the ones I enjoy best. Organized. It seems like the perfect time because no one is really going full throttle with other things during that week.
I’ve learned this great lesson this year. If I don’t take the time to organize my life - my things, my time, my email, my day, my work load, my schedule, my priorities - it will cost me unnecessary grief.
It was always the time to do the tedious and meticulous work of organizing that held me back. No one has ever lied on their resume more than I did when I copied “detail oriented” on my resume. Laughing Out Loud. I am not naturally detail oriented. Details, until my 35th year have seemed like such a waste of good time and energy when there was a big picture to think about. But, as they say God is in the details. The meaning lies in taking the time, slowing down the process, not missing it by rushing through, making life easier by putting things in their proper places.
I’m a million times more organized in my house and I’m becoming a million times more organized in my work. I’ve made sure I take time for my exercise and meditation and friendships.
In truth it is not wanting to waste money on organizational tools that has held me back so many times before. In July I realized my office was unorganized because I didn’t want to waste money on a $7 file hanger. Stupid. But, I get it now. The tools save me so much time and energy it’s not a waste. I’m learning to invest in the tools. Enter new iphones that will revolutionize my inability to follow and keep a calendar. It will be a great organizational investment.
If you trace any bad habit back far enough there is always a wrong or incorrect thought behind it.
If you change the thought you can change the habit.
My thought was: It’s a waste of time and money to get organized.
I no longer believe that’s true.
I’ve changed the thought to: It’s a waste of time and money NOT to buy and learn to use the proper tools to be organized.
In 2009 I’m going to keep up the skills and lessons I learned in 2008. I’m going to put more of these lessons into my work and my work day.
I’ll be so productive in 2009 I’ll look like an overnight success.
Tell me, did anyone else make a similar goal last year and did you stick with it?
Tags: Kate-Gosselin, new years, Organization, resolutions2009 Family Portrait Poll
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Photos Source: Empowering Girls: So Sioux Me
Tags: family economics, family fun, family traditionsPerfect Christmas
At our Extended Family Christmas Eve Party on Wednesday we had a great time.
We did stockings and presents for the children.
Then sent them out to play with their goodies while the adults did a White Elephant Exchange and a game of Christmas Bingo.
No one liked the gifts we brought. Oh well.
Most sought after gifts included a lava lamp, a really tacky ugly phone in the shape of a golf bag, and a really nice set of frames. We scored a tool box and an emergency kit. We tried to score a box of batteries.
We spent our Christmas Day at home with our own little nuclear family. Being lazy and learning to use our cool gadgets and toys.
Our big gifts were ipods this year. Running and exercising is a lot more fun if you’re listening to a book or podcast or great music.
All the kids CDs are scratched and skip so they got them too.
We had biscuits and sausage gravy for lunch, waffles and whipped cream and fruit for lunch and wings for dinner. All day we ate as much of my mother’s Christmas candy as we wanted.
My husband and I took turns going to for a run. It was so warm we ran in shorts and tank tops.
We watched Miracle on 34th Street and made popcorn with our new popcorn maker. Half the kernels didn’t pop (my 1970s one pops nearly every kernel).
Zack got a mouse costume which is so very A Christmas Story. We have mice and he always says, “There’s a mouse in my room.” And now there is for sure.
Ainsley climbed a tree and ripped her new tights.
The lid handle broke off my new crock pot.
It was a perfect Christmas.
I can’t wait to hear about yours.
Photo Source: Empowering Girls: So Sioux Me.
Tags: Christmas, family, zackAnnual Christmas Pageant
My mother-in-law produces an Annual Christmas Pageant and this year we took it to a nursing home to spread some joy.
Zack joined in the Angel Dance and it was so stinking CUTE!
I hope everyone is having a very Merry Christmas.
Tags: boys potty training, Christmas, economics, zackWhat Did I Get For Parents Who Have Everything?
A replica of our ancestors.
I saw them in a local antique shop and I had to buy them for my parents.
They are so real looking they are like those wax dolls at Madame Tussauds. Grandpa has a pair of dentures hanging from his belt. Grandma has spectacles. The cowboy boots and hats are real, as are the clothes, bandanas and belt buckles. They came with doll stands.
I can’t explain why, but they make me happy every time I look at them.
Merry Christmas b5media and E-World. Merry Christmas.
Photo Source: Empowering Girls: So Sioux Me
Tags: ChristmasRock the Book Club
Potluck and Karaoke and White Elephant Book Exchange.
That’s how the Between the Covers Book Club rocks Christmas!
Photo Source: Empowering Girls: So Sioux Me
Tags: book-club, bookclub, ChristmasSlavery Today
So my husband sent me this story, A World Enslaved,by E. Benjamin Skinner about how you can buy a person for $50 five hours away from New York City in Haiti. The article goes into great detail about how many children, girls, women, men are in slavery today. Both for sex and for domestic and agricultural labor. There are more slaves now than in the entire history of the world.
What are we supposed to do about it? I asked him. The story goes into this whole futile effort the United States has been trying to pass more laws. More laws haven’t reduced the number of slaves.
How many people are suffering from infertility and don’t have $20,000 for an expensive adoption?
The story says the human trafficker will give you adoption papers for your $50 if you want to bring them back to the United States. He said it like it wasn’t the first time someone had asked. Which is disturbing if you think about it for too long. How many Americans are keeping secret slaves?
During the Abolitionist Movement of the Unites States didn’t some people buy slaves with the intention of freeing them?
For $50 we could buy the children and bring them back to the United States and raise them as cherished sons and daughters. For $50 you could buy another human being United States Citizenship, liberty, freedom and love.
The only down-side is that if you get busted you lose your own liberty and go to jail.
Tags: slaveryRedeeming Men
He’s redeemed the whole male gender.
Until he graced the planet I wasn’t sure the rest of them were worth dealing with.
Now, I think men might be all right since he’s joined the ranks.
Not sure what happened to bleep up some men - but, my clear goal is to NOT SCREW THIS ONE UP.
He’s a good one. Inherently good. Abnormally compassionate, sweet, loving, open and kind. Tough. Funny. Smart. No baggage, no grudges.
Did all men start like this? What the hell happened?
Photo Source: Empowering Girls: So Sioux Me.
Tags: gender equality, genderizing boysOpen Cover Letter
Employers report they must send jobs overseas to find an educated workforce.
This is patently inaccurate.
The truth is we have all the talent we need. Women are this country’s most underused resource. We have insight, college degrees, years of experience and yet, employers would rather go to India than give us a family-friendly workplace and equal pay?
Invite the women back with tax incentives and initiatives that reward family-friendly work environments and you will see a profoundly positive shift in every sector of this nation’s personal, private and business life.
The last thing this country needs is to replace the fired and retired CEOs who created this disastrous, short-sighted, profit-is-our-only-motive economic crash with like-minded thinkers.
Women are the resource, ingenuity and fresh thought this country needs to forge a new economy. The feminine perspective is one every Board of Trustees and Government Program needs to mine for creativity.
Hire me.
Photo Source: Empowering Girls: So Sioux Me
Tags: economic bailout, economic dependence, economics 101, economySour Dough Bread
Last July when I went to San Francisco for Blogher’08 I stopped in a tourist shop and picked up some San Francisco Sour Dough Starter. I gave my mother a package and another to a friend.
I kept a package for myself and began following directions. It said to put the starter in a warm dark place for several hours. So, I figured the oven would be great.
My husband preheated the oven for some wings. Plastic bowl melted all in my Sour Dough Starter and my foray into fancy breadmaking was foiled.
Now, it’s probably not that complicated for Marye Audet who writes Baking Delights.
But, for me it’s proven to be quite a challenge.
My good friends made wonderful bread every single day like clockwork. They gave me another starter.
I decided to get creative and added garlic and parmesan cheese to my “sponge” and pretty much killed it. Don’t add that to starter - add that to dough.
I have ruined 3 sets of starters, mainly because I did not understand the steps that involve “the sponge” and “the starter.”
Maybe this has happened to you before - where you read the directions over and over and over and every time you draw a blank. Huh?
I logged onto
All Holiday Cafe to see if Katelyn Thomas could teach me how to use the starter to make more starter and a sponge, but no. She did have a lot to say about Making Gingerbread Houses, but the kids and I already did that.
They say the 4th Starter is the Charm.
No one says that, but, practice makes perfect, right?
When my friend gave me the last starter and announced there could be no more because he was moving to Alabama I Googled Sour Dough Bread and found these great instructions by S. John Ross.
And now I’ve been giving bread away all season. It’s so easy to make two snakes and braid them into a holiday wreath or a candy cane. This would, actually make my friend Jen from Jlogged.com very proud. I even took it as a white elephant gift for my Toastmaster’s party and my Vow counselors loved it.
Making dough has also been keeping my 2 year old Zack out of trouble. He likes to roll and pound and squish and smack it.
Tags: BlogHer08, cooking, zackInspired Clothing Exchange
My friend Jen from Jlogged had this totally awesome and inspired idea.
“Let’s trade clothes!” her evite says.
If you’re keeping it, but it doesn’t fit you right - give it to someone who is likely to love it.
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So I go through my closet and drawers with this running dialogue in my head.
Love these shoes - never wear ‘em.
This jacket is great - it’s too big now.
These slacks are one size too small. Every time I look at them they make me feel I’m making no progress. It’s been a year. I’ll buy new pants when I actually get there.
I never wear these shoes.
I wore these shorts all year, they never fit me right, they make me look like I’m carrying a load in my crotch and if I don’t ditch them now I’ll wear them for a whole other year, maybe 2.
These shirts are too short waisted for me.
I paid real money for these two Gap shirts, but I don’t like them anymore.
And thus, half my wardrobe - the half I don’t wear and don’t like - ended up in a black plastic bag.
Off to Jen’s house on a Saturday night, where I was meeting Mrs. Blogaway and another friend for dinner and a fresh new wardrobe.
It was a great evening and an inspired idea.
Photo Source: Empowering Girls: So Sioux Me.
Tags: clean-bikini-line, Fashion, frugalBarbie Killed The Bratz
No kidding.
Its evidence of God and Santa if any was ever needed.
Bratz will no longer be on the shelves after Christmas, the courts ordered the molds broken! The name can no longer be used.
More info over at Empowering Girls: So Sioux Me
Image source: Empowering Girls: So Sioux Me
Tags: barbie, mothering, the bratz, toys, womenFair Pay - Duh.
Watch this awesome cartoon where Bat Girl sues Bat Man because he’s been paying Robin more than she for the same work.
To all you Republicans out there - It SHOULDN’T take an Act of Congress to get women Equal Pay.
But, evidently it does.
You’ve only had like one hundred years to let “the market” correct itself in regards to paying women less than men for equal work.
Hell, I’ve done far better work and been paid less than my saunter-in-at 10-am-and-write-one-article-a-week-lied-about-his-college-degree-and-still-get-paid-$15,000-a-year-more male counterpart.
One recent study found that over the course of a lifetime women lose approximately $434,000, on average, over a 40-year period because of the gender wage, with single moms making the least (source: Momsrising.org, where you can send a letter to Congress now).
It’s a shame “the market” is such a resistant and slow learner. Now, its going to Congress and some of you are going to court.
And if the United States Chamber of Congress fears that it will open up the floodgates to past grievances with previous employers and even open up the court system to other family members adversely affected by discriminatory pay, as in their letter urging Congress not to pass the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act and the Paycheck Fairness Act.
It’s a shame that it just barely occurred to corporations that paying women less would adversely affect family members and that might come back to bite them in the ass.
What was that your mother always told you, YOU SHOULD HAVE LISTENED THE FIRST TIME!
Photo source: Empowering Girls: So Sioux Me
Mysterious Healing
Jesus asked the disabled man “Wilt thou be made whole?”
My chiropractor says he’s in the top 85-90% of fibromyalgia experts, having an 80-90% success rate for patients who follow his treatment plan.
My pastor says he has a 90% success rate when he prays for the previously infertile to become pregnant.
Makes me wonder . . . why aren’t people making a pilgrimage to this place begging for healing?
Tags: consciously eating, health-
A Child Chosen
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